BEING CONTROLLED OR BEING IN CONTROL

Some of us are controlled because we make assumptions of what others think through their past actions and character. Then we act accordingly because we think that this is what will please that other person. We put the control on ourselves because we believe it is the right or the nice thing to do. Of course, there is a set of appropriate behaviors of respect that we need to adhere to, however, the control we are talking about here is exccessive and steals our sense of self.

Some of us are controlled because another individual has set standards on our behalf which have been imposed on us in order to make us believe we will then be loved and accepted. These controls are manipulative and are often the result of the insecurity of the controller.

Either way, being controlled is a sign of unhealthy relationships. It stands to reason that if you are in one overtly controlling relationship that this carries over into most other relationships as well. Those of us who are under the dominion of another often find ourselves inept at making decisions for ourselves in many areas of our lives. We seek the approval of others in order to move forward and we have lost the sense of who we are. True. there is another individual who has imposed these sanctions yet we are the ones who have allowed it.

So what can we do about this? First, we need to come to an awareness that this is happening. We need to find the courage to discover or rediscover who we are and what we are passionate about in life. We need to find our purpose. We need to make a clear decision for change and move toward that change without seeking anyone else's approval and stick to it. Do this one decision at a time. Set boundaries and keep them clear and consistent.

There is a freedom in autonomy beyond words. It brings joy and lifts up the concept we have in ourselves. This is a gift that God has given us since the beginning of time....free will choice. We need to accept that gift and honor it by using it and not allowing anyone to stop us from doing so.